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Free Book Reviews Blogoversary Interview: MJ Holmes |Free Book Reviews

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Blogoversary Interview: MJ Holmes

During all of 2012 I was so busy with life that I was unable to pay any real attention to my blog and it’s purpose. I still made posts but not with the fervor of the prior year. Now that I am coming up on my anniversary of starting this blog and my life has become somewhat less cluttered I can start to give it a little more attention. I wanted to kick off this year with something new and fun but I also wanted a chance to give authors a way to shout out to readers. This blogs last anniversary I tried to get authors to give away a digital copy of their book and saw some success with that. However this year I do not want to just have authors giving away books to entice readers into checking them out. Therefore, I invite authors to host me on their blog, website or venue to ask me any questions they feel like asking. I would also like it if they would gift one copy of their paperback to the first person to comment on that post. If there are any authors that would like to participate that would be awesomesauce. But wait there is more. Below you will find some crazy questions that I would like to present to those authors willing to host me. Please copy and paste these questions, answer them and then email it as an attachment to me at arobbins 78 @ gmail dot com. Along with the questions provide me with all the links you can imagine and an excerpt of your book if you would like. Don’t be bashful, the world already knows you are crazy, that is why you write books anyway. After I get the answers to the below I will post them in the order received.

Every Group has to have a bastard. So here is ours :)

MJ Holmes

Free Book Reviews
If we are supposed to be red with anger, would a Smurf turn purple?

MJ Holmes
Only if you choke it.

Free Book Reviews
How many times do you use the word “at” in your latest book?

MJ Holmes
Once. I wrote it on my book mark. Seriously, go buy the book if you want to know all the adding up.

Free Book Reviews
You are endowed with the job of creating one word to describe all human emotions in one word. What word would you create and why?

MJ Holmes
Don't have to. That word is "Human".

Free Book Reviews
If our time is “my time” plus “your time” then why do we not get twice as much time to complete a task together?

MJ Holmes
Because ONE job takes half with time being completed by TWO people. Were you subjected to Public Education?

Free Book Reviews
Make a sentence out of the following words. (it has to make sense)

a. Additional
b. Subjected
c. Silence
d. Scoundrel
e. Systematic

MJ Holmes
"The additional silence subjected the scoundrel to a lack of the systematic wordplay that kept the phantasmal wombats from gnawing at his grasp of sanity."

Free Book Reviews
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie-pop?

MJ Holmes
The same number of punches that shuts up the asshole that keeps asking that question. Get a lolly and go keep yourself out of harm's way finding out.

Free Book Reviews
You walk into a bathroom and someone left a book laying there. What is the title and why?

MJ Holmes
That's not important. What IS important is that particular book is there in case we run out of toilet paper.

Free Book Reviews
You get abducted by aliens. Where do they take you and why?

MJ Holmes
I'll let you know. I'm seeing Gerald on Friday night.

Free Book Reviews
You wake up somewhere strange completely naked. Why?

MJ Holmes
Gerald made good on his promise of a, "great Friday night out."

Free Book Reviews
You have to give a deaf, dyslexic directions to your next book signing. How do you accomplish this?

MJ Holmes
LSA (American Sign Language reversed), then sticking the invitation up your arse for all the good it will do. You can learn by osmosis to quit asking me questions like that one.

Free Book Reviews
Finish this joke. An aardvark, moose and platypus enter a bar…

MJ Holmes
...shut up. (Hey look! I laughed!)

Free Book Reviews

Why is it that when people are asked what they would take with them to a deserted island, no one says “boat”?

MJ Holmes
Because people believe they will get there on a boat that won't be a boat after they start eyeing up the fat guy and devising how to remove all the sand he's rolled in before they cook and eat him.

Free Book Reviews
If the fans of Doctor Who are called “whovians” and Whos come from Whoville, are they one in the same?

MJ Holmes
As much as Trekkies and Trekkers both want to kick your ass for this incessant stupidity.

Free Book Reviews
You are allowed only one word from now on to use to describe everything. What word would you choose and why?

MJ Holmes
Malkovich.

Free Book Reviews
Does a Timex really take licking to keep on ticking?

MJ Holmes
Yes. However, it tastes like sweat and blood. Never asked if it was MY watch.

Free Book Reviews
How can Nationwide really be on everyone’s side?

MJ Holmes
Because they think we all live in a bubble they have to rub up against. Cheeky bastards.

Free Book Reviews
You wake up in the kitchen, chocolate syrup and whipped crème everywhere. Explain yourself.

MJ Holmes
Gerald was over with his open-minded friends, you weren't invited, and - come to think of it - why are you in my house?

Free Book Reviews
If Einstein is right and the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, would that
not make sex insane?

MJ Holmes
Only with the right partner. There was that one girl who could do extraordinary things with a particle accelerator and her tongue...

Free Book Reviews
How much was that puppy in the window?

MJ Holmes
Not as much as the window in the puppy. Have you seen the cost of plate glass these days?

Free Book Reviews
Congrats, you made it to the last question. Why?

MJ Holmes
I'm bored, drunk, and I want to piss at least one person off before bedtime.

Now that you have finished the test you may proceed to hawking your wares. Please be kind and assault our imaginations with your words. For those who do not know it INDIE AUTHORS ROCK. For more things INDIE please visit IWU on Facebook.

-MJ Holmes-
Author of this rag:
http://www.amazon.com/Tyme-Serpent-Serpents-Tail-ebook/dp/B004FPZ0BU





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